Oh my god. I feel so dumb. Yesterday, I begged out of working all but an hour of my shift because I wasn't feeling up to the challenge of dressing myself, putting myself in the car and driving to work, on account of the fact that I kept falling be to sleep every time the alarm went off. My manager encouraged me to come in to at least cover her ( Read more... )

Although this article focuses more on single moms, I’m thankful I’m not the only one observing this odd phenomenon: Cornered by Recession, Unmarried Women Go It Alone - Working In These Times

I’ve often privately observed with bitter dissatisfaction the financially unstable position that my current relationship status has put me in. Going from an ( Read more... )

Drug bag. Drug bad. Drug bad. I sat through two hours of class after taking my pill on my drive in. technically, not two hours because I was late. I completely forgot how much I normally don't participate when the professor asks questions of the class because I kept trying to interrupt her to engage in the conversation ( Read more... )

For the past two nights, every time I lay down in bed to go to sleep.. I feel panicked. I feel like there are so many things I could be doing rather than wasting my time being horizontal for 6 - 10 hours. I could be... finishing laundry, or cleaning, or doing more writing or working on my Etsy shop descriptions or... Or anything really. Sleeping ( Read more... )

I'm attempting to go cold turkey off my medication... Not, exactly, intentionally. My military ID is expired, so I don't know that I have access to TriCare until that's fixed. And... the only way I can think of to fix it, is by going back down to NC and having Dilan let me on base so I can get my ID renewed.

So, without that, I have all of... 3 ( Read more... )

Ahem. Yes I know this is like the fourth post in less than 12 hours. There's been a lot on my mind...?

I've been much better about taking my medication lately, (except, I guess, for this morning... but I was busy!) I'm up to 400 mg, and my body has adjusted to the point where it doesn't knock me the fuck out in less than 30 mins.... It's more like, ( Read more... )

I went back and re-read my post from Wednesday complaining about my appt. with the Social Worker lady. I think what irritated me the most, was not feeling that I was being taken seriously. I have spent years doing that very thing to myself, trying to shove all of my various problems back under the rug while I struggled through my days, and then ( Read more... )

Today is a crap day. I've been bad about my meds lately, which probably doesn't help. I feel like shit. Met with the "Social Worker" lady today. Somehow I felt WORSE after I left than I did when I went in. I have been up since like 3:30 am. I think part of it was just the fact that she seemed.... so goddamned.... cheery. Fuck. You. I do not need ( Read more... )

So, I am wondering... I sort of, 'assume' that all this treatment and battling with depression is supposed to make me a happier, healthier, more functional person.

...Except. What IS happy?

Happy. When I think of this word, I think of a voice full of smiles, a good song that makes me want to sing and dance around the room. Hot tea and warm blankets ( Read more... )

This post is going to be TMI for some, but I like it and it's my journal so hah ( Read more... )